Previous Chapter: Time for the Fruits of my Labor
Because of all this business with Isabel and Tessa, I’ve been giving thought to my “relationship” with Agatha. Previously, I never considered it as anything more than a business exchange. However, since I’ve spent time with my ladies in decidedly non-business situations, I feel the need to reevaluate my view of Agatha as well.
As before, I want to discuss some issues with her in addition to my work-related needs. I call to let her know what I need and set a time to meet for the purchase, hinting I’d like some extra time with her. She sounds really excited about the prospects, which confuses me. Normally, I don’t get any impression that she looks forward to our meetings. I wonder if she’s being influenced by events as well.
When she greets me at the door, I understand her excitement. Clearly she’s between boys again. She’s really dressed to impress. A tight top that snugs up against her curves, but only reaches down to just below her crotch. It’s a vibrant red, yet slightly translucent. I leap to attention immediately. She grabs me, pulls me to her and starts grinding against me as we deep kiss. As I run my hands over her body. It’s clear the shirt is all she’s wearing. It’s not like she’s ever been shy in the past, but this is more than I remember.
After a while I need air, so pull back a little.
“Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever been greeted this way before!”
She asks, “Do you like it?”
“Yes, but...”
She looks at me, some of the fire ebbing from her eyes.
“But, what?”
“I recently learned something new about myself. It seems I can only enjoy sex with Tessa or Isabel.”
She pouts at me.
“I’ve been looking forward to this visit for quite a while now. All that anticipation for nothing!”
“I’m sorry, really! What happened to Bill? Isn’t he getting the job done any longer?”
She frowns, “Bill. Hmpf. For a while he really seemed like a keeper; he lasted almost eighteen months. But then he started to insist on knowing about my business. So off with his head!”
I’m pretty sure she doesn’t mean that literally. However, if he was prying, it might very well be.
“Well, some of us are just not meant to be in relationships.”
As she gets what I need, she takes pains to continue her show. I’m enjoying it, but just don’t have any urge to take the next obvious step. She’s clearly disappointed that she can’t get more than staring from me. After a while, she seems a little depressed at the lack of engagement.
I think about this as I evaluate what I came here for. Perhaps I’ll be OK giving without receiving. When I mention that idea, she perks up a little. We decide to give that a try, once our business is done.
It’s not quite the same for me. However, since I enjoy seeing women in ecstasy, I actually feel I can focus a little better knowing it’s all about her. I find I’m able to enjoy the process, though it gets awkward a few times when she reflexively tries to return the favor.
As we’re relaxing afterwards, we begin our usual chatting.
She says, “I’m of two minds on this experiment. It’s certainly vastly superior to masturbation, but a large part of what I enjoy is the give and take. Only taking leaves me emotionally unsatisfied.”
That’s an interesting idea. I’ll need to think on it at some point.
She rolls me toward her for a kiss.
“Physically, though, I’m satisfied.”
She nuzzles my neck and ear. While I’m still at attention, this weird lethargy remains. It’s really odd that this feeling doesn’t happen with Tessa.
“Since sex is clearly not what you wanted to ‘discuss,’ want to talk about it now?”
I slide back to lie on the bed next to her, organizing my thoughts.
“When we met before and discussed the elements of friendship, we talked about trust.”
“I remember. You instantly responded with an affirmative, then immediately got introspective. You’ve had more time to think about it?”
“The last time I worked with Isabel she was with another team. Just two other guys. They’re gay, one of the reasons she likes to work with them. What was interesting to me is I was completely relaxed working with them. Much like how I sleep soundly with Isabel or Tessa, I wasn’t disturbed by their too-ings and fro-ings.”
Agatha considers this for a while. She rolls out of bed and pads out of the bedroom. Going for the dictionary, I guess. I enjoy the view of her naked, yet am content just watching. She exceeds Isabel in all dimensions except height, yet retains the hourglass figure. A very thick hourglass.
After getting back in bed, she sits up with pillows behind her. She opens the book and leafs through to the appropriate page, then reads out loud.
“Trust (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another”
She’s curious as she looks at me, “I trust you. Do you trust me?”
“Certainly.” I smile, “And without any introspection.”
“I think it’s because of how we met and the challenges we overcame together. You?”
I say, “Knowing how you respond under fire is clearly an element in my trust. I know I can rely on you to do the right thing and I know you have my back, so I can focus on what I need to do and not waste energy wondering.”
“Is it predictability? We can predict our respective behaviors in dangerous situations?”
“I don’t think it’s that simple. I wouldn’t trust you just because I correctly predict you’d hide under the bed.”
She nods at that, a serious expression on her face. She must be getting something of her own out of this conversation.
I continue, “When I was in the military and out on an operation, I always felt I could trust my compatriots in a firefight. I knew where they’d be, how they’d respond, what their next actions would be for a given situation, so I could do my job trusting they’d do theirs. That trust, though, never extended beyond the firefight and I never really relaxed around them.”
She looks at me, clearly thinking over the situation, “I’ve been a loner ever since I left my mentor, way back in my twenties. I felt the same. I trusted him when we were working, but I never felt comfortable outside of work. I always thought some of it was the sexism, though I guess that was just part of culture at the time. He leered a lot and pawed me from time to time, so I was always careful to keep my distance. I sometimes wondered if he was just interested in me for my body, yet he was always free with the technical information I needed and, as far as I was ever able to tell, made me known to all his contacts in the business. But I never trusted him. Really, I think I only trust you.”
Interesting. We’ve never spoken about her past. Our conversations have always been about business. Except when she wanted to know about Isabel and Tessa. Thinking about it, I’ve never told her much about my background either. This is the first time I mentioned anything about my time in the military. No doubt she guessed; there aren’t many other places to get my training.
I say, “When I was considering my trust for Isabel’s partners, I wasn’t able to get far until I turned the situation around. I asked myself ‘Why don’t I trust others?’ What do you think?”
She leans back against the pillows, thinking. She’s cooled off from our play, so pulls a blanket up over her, then slouches down, staring up at the ceiling. I decide to torment her a little for tormenting me, so snuggle up against her and start caressing. She grabs my hand and holds it. I guess she doesn’t want to be distracted as she thinks.
“As you’re well aware, I’ve had quite a few boys over the years. I let them in my house, yet never once even considered showing them anything about my business. I made it clear to stay away from my vault, explaining in detail the bad things that would happen if they went near. I don’t trust my customers, yet I show them the vault. I trust you, yet the only way I imagine I’d ever give you the access codes is in an emergency. I’ll have to ponder that. Clearly I just don’t trust people. Maybe it’s something in my psychology.”
She squeezes my hand, then brings it up to a breast and holds it there.
“Did you ever sort anything out when you thought about Isabel’s team?”
“No, not really. That’s why I brought it up with you.”
She lets my hand go, so I can let it wander around. Soon I have her warmed up again and she throws off the blankets. I’m glad I can at least participate at this level. I just wish I understood better why I can’t commit to lovemaking to anyone else anymore.